October 5th 2013

Posted by admin on Oct 5, 2013 in Stuff

Boy its been a while.

Today would have been my Mother’s 81st birthday.  A few weeks ago it would have been my Dad’s 81st birthday.

Amazingly and sadly they have three grandchildren they will never meet.  The likelihood of some of my wonderful children seeing the dawn of 2100 is compelling.

If you had asked me 10 years ago if I were going to have more children I would have given you a funny look.

7 chicklets ranging in age from 27 to age 3.  And every one of them is a unique, kind, loving, intelligent, sentient kindred spirit.

In this age being a ‘kid’ isn’t easy; being a young adult isn’t easy, and being a marginally good parent isn’t the easiest of tasks.

Maybe it should be easier, but in looking around society – it isn’t.

My late father told me more than once that he ‘loved his five children equally according to their needs.’  That is some profound wisdom.

Throughout any fog or noise I may experience in my daily journey  nothing can touch the joy of parenting.

Mom and Dad we all miss you and love you.

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Lighting a candle for baby loss awareness week

Posted by admin on Oct 11, 2012 in Uncategorized

I can’t think of anything much worse then losing a baby during late term or at birth.  The reality is that in the Uk we lose 6500 babies very year.  That is 17 babies each day across Britain.

The Baby Loss Awareness organisation coordinates the International Wave of Light remembrance each year where parents and families can light a candle on 15 October between 7-8pm in honour of the child that has been lost.

This month in 2008 we lost one of our twins.  We named him Aaron Roark.  We buried him under the shade of a sprawling yew tree overlooking the harbour.  Aaron’s twin sister Yasmine will be 4 on her next birthday.

I’m getting emotionally choked up as I write this.

When I look into Yasmine’s eyes I am always reminded of her brother Aaron.

I don’t think any parent or family ever ‘get over’ the loss of a baby or young child.  You get to a point where the emotional pain can be managed, yet it never goes away.  At least in mine and my wife’s experience.

We still regularly visit his grave.  And Yasmine and Mummy say Good Morning to Aaron together each day.

While I’m no professed expert on pain, I think with a great wife and 7 children I’m an aspiring expert on the subject of love.

Do we love a child we only held for a moment, any less than a toddler?  I don’t think there is significant difference between the degree of love that a parent experiences.

We published Aaron’s Star, an illustrated and compelling story of love, and hope in 2010.  It was my answer to my wife, the mother of Aaron and Yasmine.  This story continues to touch hearts today around the world.  If you can make it through the short story without a hanky and reflection, you are a better man than me.

If you know people that have experienced this very sensitive issue of loss, please let them know about Aaron’s Star and they can make their own mind up as to whether or not it helps them deal with their loss.

Together let’s you and I try to spread a bit of love in a world that is kind of turned upside down right now.  When we remove the masks we wear, the only real thing that matters is the love we give and receive.  It can change our home and it will change our world.

In the meanwhile as our paths cross in the A-Field, here is a picture of Aaron’s sister Yasmine Miracle.


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